Monday, October 3, 2011

5 Predictions of the Future from the "Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots" movie, Real Steel

The future of technology! (Image Via.)

1.) Though a 2010 iPod Touch dies after a couple of hours, technology will advance in the next 3 years so that a large robot built in 2014 will still be able to power-up with no external power source at critical moments, despite being buried in mud, 20-some-odd years later.

2.) Eminem will be the sole soundtrack of the future. The real Slim Shady must have finally stood up.

3.) Apparently, the recession will be over by the 2020s, and the precocious 11-year-old clone of young Anakin Skywalker representing all of America's youth will have the advanced computer and engineering skills needed for robot care and programing. So ... the repeal of the "No Child Left Behind" act and better funding for American public schools?

Check his midichlorian levels, stat!

4.) Women will be allowed to be a part of future robot fighting, but only through the inheritance of their fathers. Not of their own desire to build robots (Evangeline Lily's character inherited her gym/robot lab from her father) or their own interest in the sport as an owner or business prospect (Olga Fonda's character is pointedly introduced as someone using her father's money to fund her winning robot). Because girls don't like robots, unless they're pink and sparkly and capable of baking whimsical low-fat mini-cupcakes. Tee-hee!

5.) "Bitch, get back in your corner and take it!" -- Announcer guy during a robot match. It seems language tinged in misogyny and undertones of sexual violence will be alive and well in our near future. Surprise, surprise.

(Personally, I prefer this version of the timeless tale of robot supremacy and the battle of chauvinism: the Futurama episode, Raging Bender.)

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