The Integral Bowie Swag Post

In case you haven't noticed, my kittens, I have a wee, teeny-tiny, slight thing for DAVID BOWIE. Pause for gasps. Yes, it's true. And I have amassed a few items with Bowie's lovely face on them over the years that I would like to brag flaunt fuck yeah lookit all my sweet Bowie shit share with you.

The first Bowie Swag Posting comes to us courtesy of the irreplaceable Ashley (I See). Sent straight from London and from the heart, these were purchased at the current exhibit, David Bowie Is, at the Victoria and Albert Museum. You have until August to sell your kidney and visit London to attend. (Sell both and buy me a ticket too?)

As seen in this sadly blurry photo (like holy relics and alien encounters, the mysterious rarely allows itself to be photographed clearly), Ashley sent me a Ziggy Stardust mask/card, a lovely postcard, and a Bowie paper doll book, Bowie Paper Doll The Best Dress-Up Fun You'll Have With A Pair Of Scissors! (And a sweet heart drawn on the envelope, just because.) Let's look inside, shall we?

That's not a glare, that's DAVID BOWIE'S penis shining. Even when made of paper, ethereal BOWIE peen cannot be contained.

David Bowie doesn't NEED two pants legs, mugglefuckers. Two legs are for plebes, humans, and mortals. David Bowie wears what he wants.

Lest we forget that this is a published book available for purchase in retail stores (and does not contain a magical doll that will come to life if placed in a cupboard overnight), this disingenuous figure features Bowie in briefs. I will never be convinced that guitar-playing Ziggy from Mars went anything but commando.