 |
| Jack attack. Image via Wikipedia. |
Plot: There's Jack, some magic beans, a beanstalk, and fee fi foe fumm giants. Standard fairy tale stuff. This version includes an intrepid princess who Jasmines her way out of the palace to escape her arranged marriage and seek adventure. She is the Smurfette of the film, and doesn't do much except become giant bait and provide a way for Jack to become a hero. This isn't necessary a bad thing; we can't all be heroes. Sometimes we need to be saved. It's Jack's story. The problem comes when the damsel in distress the ONLY representation of women we see. And in this particular batch of movies? Jack the Giant Slayer is not only the film that is (surprisingly!) the most entertaining, but the most tolerable when comes to positive representation. Chew on that for a minute.
Main Female Characters: One. Apparently giants reproduce asexually, as there are no lady giants in the bunch.
Does it pass the Bechdel Test?: No. There's a brief prologue scene of young Isabelle reading a story with her mother, but the story is about a brave king and the giants.
Lesson for Young Girls: Be an adventurer! But only if it helps a random dude. Waiting for the array of knights in shining armor to show up and save you is a great way to pass the time. Have you brushed your hair today?
Subtext: Your grand adventure is to wait for the male adventurer in your life to save you. Try not to screw it up by being self-sufficient.
Side Note: At one point, the princess is put in gold-plated armor. It gave me false hope she would actually join in the giant slaying. Sadly, this was just for show.
 |
| Beautiful Creatures: Ugly Stereotypes. Image via Wikipedia. |
Plot: Teen Cardboard Cut-Out Forrest Gump is in love with Lena, a teen witch. Lena is on the verge of becoming a good witch or a bad witch. Dark "casters" are shunned by the good witch community, and Lena is being trained by her uncle to chose the light and become good. Her mother and cousin plot to have Lena join the dark side and rule the world with them. I think? I dunno, this movie was, like, 20 hours long, with terribly repetitive smooching between Teen Witch Barbie and Ken, mind-numbingly boring, and managed to fit in every Southern stereotype possible. (Even Civil War re-enactments!)
Main Female Characters: 3. A cringe-inducing Magical Negro character (played by Viola Davis, who deserves better), spends the entire movie helping white people solve their problems and playing nursemaid to Forrest Gump. Lena, who plays the role of exceptional girl and rejects the women in her life in favor of Forrest and the approval of her uncle. And the mother and cousin witches, who are all sex and evil and of course must be destroyed and seriously, ugh. UGH. This racist, sexist movie.
Does it pass the Bechdel test?: Maybe? At one point the mean mom witch and teenage girl witch were talking about her future, and how powerful and strong and dark she could be? But they probably jumped right back on the topic of Teenage Dream Forrest Gump before the audience could get uncomfortable ideas about Lena's independence.
Lesson for Young Girls: Your boyfriend and male influences are way more important than your mother. Mom-witch is no longer virginal or matronly, and failing to fit into the assigned spaces of womenhood, must be destroyed. Does your uncle like you enough? Work on that. Have you sacrificed enough for your teen boyfriend so that his dreams of college and a bright future can be met? Try harder. And if you're a young woman of color? White people aren't gonna clean up their own messes.
Subtext: Work hard so your menfolk will be happy. If you have the approval of the men in your life, you don't need any other women. (Except your one black friend, who lives to serve you.)
Side Note: Aziz Ansari and Stephen Colbert are two actors who were born and/or raised in South Carolina. Neither sound anything like Ken Doll Forrest Gump's atrocious accent. The Hollywood stereotypes of the South seen in this movie are a whoooole other post.
 |
| Oz the what now? Image via Wikipedia. |
Plot: The hero of the story is a conman who lands on Oz to stick his penis into things. And save Oz? But his name is also Oz? And it's all kind of a 3-D, technicolor mess with a middling, passive storyline that puts James Franco and his penis around beautiful women who are stuck with a dull script that leaves little for them to do? Oz claims to be a wizard and all the witches fall all over themselves for him. After a nighttime romp with one witch, who declares the next morning that she is happy to become the future queen of Oz, he runs off to meet another witch and lust after some gold exactly like Scrooge McDuck and I don't know, y'all. There's munchkins and fireworks and I mean, why can't the witches just run Oz on their own? Look. This about sums it up: At one point the movie even addresses the manipulative way Oz ups and leaves the ladies who love him, and the sidekick monkey states, "You broke that poor girl's heart." Prompting Oz to answer blithely, "She'll get over it. They always do." When a bellhop-clad flying monkey voiced by Zach Braff is your voice of reason, there is something wrong with your movie.
Main Female Characters: 3 or 4, witches and a living China Doll, all dependent upon Oz to save or woo them.
Does it pass the Bechdel Test?: Ha.
Lesson for Young Girls: If you have a sexual encounter ("Dancing," as Disney says. They stay up all night "dancing.") with someone who is charming and kind and says all the right things but who is really a conman, it's still your fault for falling for it. Congratulations. You are now a wicked witch woman who deserves warts and scorn and not even the reprieve of a nice spa day because you can't get wet. Watch out for falling houses.
Subtext: No sex before marriage, or you will turn green and warty. But only if you're a girl. Boys get to become consequence-free kings.
Side Note: This prequel film taints Judy Garland's heroics. When the wizard sends Dorothy to kill the wicked witch in 1939's The Wizard of Oz, now it isn't so much a test of her faith and courage, but a way to dispatch his ex-girlfriend without getting his hands dirty. What a hero.
Film.com published an excellent and well-researched article on this topic, and gives us this great quote:
In a bitter reversal of Baum’s stories, “Great and Powerful” casts the women as the sidekicks, standing by to aid the Wizard should he need it. No longer instigators of action, the witches Glinda, Theodora, and Evanora now clasp their hands at arrival, thrilled the prophesied hero has arrived (“Aren’t you the great man we’ve been waiting for?” asks Theodora, voice trembling. Actually, all the female dialogue seems to be on the wobbly verge of tears). Whereas Baum’s charlatan Wizard accidentally became ruler of Oz, making a mess of things in the process, now we have one who has a place carved out for him, and is hailed as the man “who can set things right” (silly witches, always making a mess of their kingdoms!). Who knew three sorceresses –- who were all-seeing and all-knowing in prior Oz tales -– were actually helpless compared to a man from Kansas? And helpless against him! Yes, Michelle Williams’ Glinda is smart enough to see through our hero’s lies and bluster, but otherwise she’s completely stripped of any real agency. “Great and Powerful” corrects Baum’s grievous abstinence, and reminds us all women must fall for a handsome traveler. The modern day Wizard now wins at least 2/3 of the onscreen hearts instead of being shamed as a liar.Best to stick with director Sam Raimi's previous work, Xena: Warrior Princess, if you're in the mood for watching something that doesn't involve a demeaning female lead.
1 comments:
Great reviews. I hadn't heard of the Jack/Giant movie, but from the trailers for the other two, I guessed almost everything you wrote.
Post a Comment