Hollywood Lessons For Young Ladies

Nothing in media or pop culture exists within a vacuum. Today on FitC, we visit three recent films that are aimed at children and young adults. We are forever absorbing messages through media, and these three films are perpetuating subtle and sometimes blatant lessons for young women and their expected place in the world. (A reminder: To pass the Bechdel Test, a film must have 1.) At least two women 2.) who have a conversation 3.) about something other than men.) Let's have a look, shall we?

Jack attack. Image via Wikipedia.

Jack the Giant Slayer 

Plot: There's Jack, some magic beans, a beanstalk, and fee fi foe fumm giants. Standard fairy tale stuff. This version includes an intrepid princess who Jasmines her way out of the palace to escape her arranged marriage and seek adventure. She is the Smurfette of the film, and doesn't do much except become giant bait and provide a way for Jack to become a hero. This isn't necessary a bad thing; we can't all be heroes. Sometimes we need to be saved. It's Jack's story. The problem comes when the damsel in distress the ONLY representation of women we see. And in this particular batch of movies? Jack the Giant Slayer is not only the film that is (surprisingly!) the most entertaining, but the most tolerable when comes to positive representation. Chew on that for a minute.

Main Female Characters: One. Apparently giants reproduce asexually, as there are no lady giants in the bunch.

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?: No. There's a brief prologue scene of young Isabelle reading a story with her mother, but the story is about a brave king and the giants.

Lesson for Young Girls: Be an adventurer! But only if it helps a random dude. Waiting for the array of knights in shining armor to show up and save you is a great way to pass the time. Have you brushed your hair today?

Subtext: Your grand adventure is to wait for the male adventurer in your life to save you. Try not to screw it up by being self-sufficient.

Side Note: At one point, the princess is put in gold-plated armor. It gave me false hope she would actually join in the giant slaying. Sadly, this was just for show.

Beautiful Creatures: Ugly Stereotypes. Image via Wikipedia.

Beautiful Creatures

Plot: Teen Cardboard Cut-Out Forrest Gump is in love with Lena, a teen witch. Lena is on the verge of becoming a good witch or a bad witch. Dark "casters" are shunned by the good witch community, and Lena is being trained by her uncle to chose the light and become good. Her mother and cousin plot to have Lena join the dark side and rule the world with them. I think? I dunno, this movie was, like, 20 hours long, with terribly repetitive smooching between Teen Witch Barbie and Ken, mind-numbingly boring, and managed to fit in every Southern stereotype possible. (Even Civil War re-enactments!)

Main Female Characters: 3. A cringe-inducing Magical Negro character (played by Viola Davis, who deserves better), spends the entire movie helping white people solve their problems and playing nursemaid to Forrest Gump. Lena, who plays the role of exceptional girl and rejects the women in her life in favor of Forrest and the approval of her uncle. And the mother and cousin witches, who are all sex and evil and of course must be destroyed and seriously, ugh. UGH. This racist, sexist movie.

Does it pass the Bechdel test?: Maybe? At one point the mean mom witch and teenage girl witch were talking about her future, and how powerful and strong and dark she could be? But they probably jumped right back on the topic of Teenage Dream Forrest Gump before the audience could get uncomfortable ideas about Lena's independence.

Lesson for Young Girls: Your boyfriend and male influences are way more important than your mother. Mom-witch is no longer virginal or matronly, and failing to fit into the assigned spaces of womenhood, must be destroyed. Does your uncle like you enough? Work on that. Have you sacrificed enough for your teen boyfriend so that his dreams of college and a bright future can be met? Try harder. And if you're a young woman of color? White people aren't gonna clean up their own messes.

Subtext: Work hard so your menfolk will be happy. If you have the approval of the men in your life, you don't need any other women. (Except your one black friend, who lives to serve you.)

Side Note: Aziz Ansari and Stephen Colbert are two actors who were born and/or raised in South Carolina. Neither sound anything like Ken Doll Forrest Gump's atrocious accent. The Hollywood stereotypes of the South seen in this movie are a whoooole other post.

Oz the what now? Image via Wikipedia.

Oz The Great and Powerful

Plot: The hero of the story is a conman who lands on Oz to stick his penis into things. And save Oz? But his name is also Oz? And it's all kind of a 3-D, technicolor mess with a middling, passive storyline that puts James Franco and his penis around beautiful women who are stuck with a dull script that leaves little for them to do? Oz claims to be a wizard and all the witches fall all over themselves for him. After a nighttime romp with one witch, who declares the next morning that she is happy to become the future queen of Oz, he runs off to meet another witch and lust after some gold exactly like Scrooge McDuck and I don't know, y'all. There's munchkins and fireworks and I mean, why can't the witches just run Oz on their own? Look. This about sums it up: At one point the movie even addresses the manipulative way Oz ups and leaves the ladies who love him, and the sidekick monkey states, "You broke that poor girl's heart." Prompting Oz to answer blithely, "She'll get over it. They always do." When a bellhop-clad flying monkey voiced by Zach Braff is your voice of reason, there is something wrong with your movie.

Main Female Characters: 3 or 4, witches and a living China Doll, all dependent upon Oz to save or woo them.

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?: Ha.

Lesson for Young Girls: If you have a sexual encounter ("Dancing," as Disney says. They stay up all night "dancing.") with someone who is charming and kind and says all the right things but who is really a conman, it's still your fault for falling for it. Congratulations. You are now a wicked witch woman who deserves warts and scorn and not even the reprieve of a nice spa day because you can't get wet. Watch out for falling houses.

Subtext: No sex before marriage, or you will turn green and warty. But only if you're a girl. Boys get to become consequence-free kings.

Side Note: This prequel film taints Judy Garland's heroics. When the wizard sends Dorothy to kill the wicked witch in 1939's The Wizard of Oz, now it isn't so much a test of her faith and courage, but a way to dispatch his ex-girlfriend without getting his hands dirty. What a hero.

Film.com published an excellent and well-researched article on this topic, and gives us this great quote:

In a bitter reversal of Baum’s stories, “Great and Powerful” casts the women as the sidekicks, standing by to aid the Wizard should he need it. No longer instigators of action, the witches Glinda, Theodora, and Evanora now clasp their hands at arrival, thrilled the prophesied hero has arrived (“Aren’t you the great man we’ve been waiting for?” asks Theodora, voice trembling. Actually, all the female dialogue seems to be on the wobbly verge of tears). Whereas Baum’s charlatan Wizard accidentally became ruler of Oz, making a mess of things in the process, now we have one who has a place carved out for him, and is hailed as the man “who can set things right” (silly witches, always making a mess of their kingdoms!). Who knew three sorceresses –- who were all-seeing and all-knowing in prior Oz tales -– were actually helpless compared to a man from Kansas? And helpless against him! Yes, Michelle Williams’ Glinda is smart enough to see through our hero’s lies and bluster, but otherwise she’s completely stripped of any real agency. “Great and Powerful” corrects Baum’s grievous abstinence, and reminds us all women must fall for a handsome traveler. The modern day Wizard now wins at least 2/3 of the onscreen hearts instead of being shamed as a liar.

Best to stick with director Sam Raimi's previous work, Xena: Warrior Princess, if you're in the mood for watching something that doesn't involve a demeaning female lead.

Wild Oscar Talk

Have you been following build-up to the Oscars this year? The awards ceremony is on Sunday, and as usual, I'll be sipping mimosas and watching the film equivalent to the Super Bowl.

If you have followed Oscar news, you may have noticed clear-winner Anne Hathaway's coverage is tinged with a hint of malice. Anne is in the race for her heart-squeezing turn as Fantine in Les Misérables and is worthy of the win. But some don't like her ambitious attitude, or presence, or desire -- all things admirable in an actor, but something to sneer at in an actress. (A quick Google search of "Anne Hathaway" + "Oscar" is only the source needed for this one. Add "hate" at the end of that if you really want to spend time making "ugh" noises at your screen.)

At Creative Loafing, the alternative weekly newspaper here in Charlotte, the Oscar predictions slate Anne for the win. Film critic Matt Brunson perfectly and succinctly sums up Anne's Oscar coverage in one fell swoop, unpacking the media's internalized and ever-present misogyny that shoots women down for being anything less than what they are expected to be in that moment, at every moment of everyday.  

"A not-unexpected whiff of misogyny has hit this year's Oscar season, as evidenced by the disgusting treatment of Hathaway by both the media and the public. The clear frontrunner in this category since Day One, she's been lambasted lately for 'wanting the award too much,' whatever the fuck that means. Gee, funny how the same people complaining about her omniscient presence on talk shows and red-carpet events aren't similarly criticizing Daniel Day-Lewis, Steven Spielberg, Ben Affleck and Robert De Niro, all of whom are doing the exact same thing. At any rate, it would be a disgrace if Hathaway loses because of nastiness."

The film industry has its fill of lady-hate, and it's nothing new. But for this round, it would be nice to let the woman who obviously: Set a goal, worked towards it, wants it, and is on the cusp of fulfilling her goal, to not only have it, but to enjoy it.

Razzle, No Dazzle

Oh, look.

Breaking CGI. Image via Wikipedia.

The 33rd annual Golden Raspberry Award nominations, the Razzies, have been announced. And blah blah blah you know the rest. Lazy, boring filler paragraph about worst performances followed by gleeful hate at anything aimed at women, aka Twilight. Even in a year that brought Tim & Eric's Billion Dollar Movie, Savages, and The Watch to big screens. (All missing from the Razzies.)

Yawn. Wake me up when this derivative, constant misogyny is over. (I'm prepared to sleep for awhile.) Since we're repeating ourselves, it's as I said in 2011's Raz This:

It's almost as if movies aimed at women are treated as oddities without significance and without the same clout as "regular" movies. You know, the real movies. Those real movies that are always good, without a doubt, because they star dudes and shit.

Because if a movie is aimed at women, it's got to be bad. Teenage girls read Twilight. What do they know? Who cares if it is perhaps the singular mainstream franchise that is aimed at/for teenage girls that does not involve Justin Bieber, and therefore, no matter how bad the source material is, the passionate and financial endorsement of this series may be in part due to the fact that there is nothing else available.

If you're given stale bread, while your male counterparts ages 13-29 are given a full-course buffet with varieties of filet mignon, French cheese and rosemary olive oil croissants, you're going to love that stale bread, damn it. That stale bread is yours and yours alone. Sure, sure, you'll try to steal a bite or two, maybe even enjoy a glass of wine from the table labeled Die Hard but you know it wasn't made for you.

Hate chick flicks? Hate Twilight? Hate Sex and the City and Katherine Heigl?

Then demand wine and meat and brie cheeses. Demand something other than stale bread. And if you are one of those who believes that all chick flicks suck, no matter what, consider the source and count yourself lucky. Because you must be one of those who already ate from the buffet table.

What the Backstreet Boys Taught Me About Internet Politics

Bastions of Internet knowledge.

When I was young'in, I attended 4 different high schools before graduating. In the states, high school is 4 years of study and jumping schools isn't the norm. The first school was an arts school that combined junior high with the first year of high school (7th through 9th grade). The second school was the local high school I was assigned to by location (10th grade), and the third was a brand new high school built to manage overcrowding that my district re-assigned me and half my classmates to (11th and 12th grade). In this shuffling about, I managed to miss a required math class and found myself in my last term of my senior year missing a credit that I would need to graduate come Spring with the rest of my classmates.

In came high school number four: a night school that offered the missed class I needed that I would attend after my regular full day of classes. The night school was alternative schooling for an eclectic mix of students who didn't fit the traditional mold; young mothers, working students, students who were not up to speed for their grade level, older students, students who spoke English as a second language (like the French-Arabic guy who I would sometimes make-out with in the parking lot, but that's another story), and students who missed a class (like me). 

One night I made it class a little bit early and took a seat next to two friendly looking girls. We started talking. They were younger than me, both around 15. Let's call them Girl A and Girl B. What followed was an encounter that I still think about, years later.

"He called me again last night," Girl A said to Girl B.
"For real?" Girl B replied.
"Yeah, he says he's really into me," Girl A said.
Girl B looked at me and excitedly said, "She knows the Backstreet Boys."
My reaction was naturally skeptical. "How?" I asked.
"I know a girl who knows them," Girl A explained. "She gave them my number and we talk."
"But, how do you know it's them?" I said.
"I talk to Kevin. He knows things only the Backstreet Boys would know," Girl A earnestly replied.

But, how would you know what only they would know? I wanted to ask, but stopped myself. I weighed the possibility that this was a stupid joke. A really stupid joke. Or was it possible that Kevin was actually calling this girl every night? That would be some serious dedication to the fans, or worth a call to the police, since 15-year-old girls are underage and Kevin was grown man. But after listening to her talk a few more minutes it was obviously not the case. Too many details didn't add up. Could this girl really believe that the Backstreet Boys, who were at the height of their late '90s popularity, would be calling a 15-year-old girl they've never met before just to chat for hours?

Say What Now?

Taken in Charlotte, NC, third week of March, 2011.

Bumper Sticker:

"Dare to say NO to
Obama and Socialism!"

I don't even know what this means.

This car was kitty-corner to me at a stoplight this month and I grabbed this shot. I edited out the license plate, because even if the bumper sticker makes no sense, no one needs their plate plastered on the Internet.

But I still don't quite get the logic behind this Glen Beck-like slogan. Oh, wait. OK, let me rephrase that. Even if this Glen Beck-like spewing had any basis in logic, it still makes no sense. Dare to say no? Like, to drugs? (In the 80's, American grade school children were taught the useless slogan of, "Dare to Say No!" in an anti-drug campaign called DARE to Keep Kids off Drugs.) Does ... does Obama make you high? Can he make me high? Cause, I mean, I'll totally vote for that. There are even republicans and conservatives that are down for that. Change we can believe in? Getting high!

And the socialism part? I am aware that's the new buzz word used to get the willfully ignorant into a tizzy, but really? Do ya even understand how socialism works? If you are going to try to fit your opinions on a small rectangle on your monstrous SUV, why not make it easy and say, "I don't understand why I'm unhappy and it's easy to blame Obama because FOX News said so!"

What Kind of F**kery Is This?

Picture it: Charlotte, North Carolina.
The median years in the first decade of the new millennium.
A young and eager Natty sits in a conference room with mismatched office chairs in various degrees of hard plastic. It's the yearly newspaper brainstorming session, and ideas for cover stories and articles are ricocheting about the table.
"What about ... " a voice says from the sidelines, "a story on gold-diggers? There are SO many of them trying to steal our boys. I see them. I know them."

The voice was that of a freelancer, a girl who took a singular interest in the local pro-sports players. NFL. Our boys. Possessive.

"Gold-diggers! Yes!" Agreement from a few.  Kayne West's song was already a few years old at this point, but what could be more relevant to an alternative newspaper than the most popular game in lazy media: Finding a Stereotype of Women and Endorsing it fully. Profit. Subject to this game are: Soccer moms, desperate housewives, Sex and the City caricatures, pop stars, wives of famous men, wives of famous politicians, Baby Mamas, any type of woman of colour (your basic Welfare Queen/ Ghetto/ Loud/ Angry/ Uneducated trope), hippie chicks, feminists, any vagina-carrying individual, etc. You'd think perpetuating negative stereotypes of women was a pinata, and the more lazy media bashed it, the better the candy. Delicious, delicious candy profit.

At the time, I had been mulling over the idea of a feminist deconstruction of Amy Winehouse songs. And to quote the lady herself, "What kind of fuckery is this?"