Weird Facebook Ads, Part One

Today we're talking Facebook ad fails. Do you ever pay attention to the little ads on the side of your newsfeed? While my husband receives ads for political candidates and charities, I get ads for maid services and baby clothes. No matter how much I spam my poor blighted newsfeed with petitions and debate updates, the algorithms state that a 31-year-old married lady must be given babies and maids. Another little moment of small daily sexism to ponder. But luckily for you dear readers, it means that I can collect a few of the worst offenders for your amusement and that is my silver lining. 

I've written about a previous Facebook sexist ad fail here (along with a local ad fail and these two Craigslist ad posts. Also: Hat beard.) Today's weird Facebook ads come from the world of babies.


1.) Uncomfortable Product Placement

"Sell Kids Clothes With Other Parents Like You," "YAZ birth control lawsuit," and "Tie Your Tubes."

 It's like the life cycle of a parent. All that's missing is a wine home delivery service.

 2.) That Is Not What You Think It Is

I will gladly counsel your Cabbage-Patch doll. In fact, if you have any other inanimate objects, such as Blu-rays or couches, that need intimate and professional counseling, I will happily step up the task. According to this ad, all it takes is one year for me to be a Cabbage-Patch counselor in North Carolina, but I'm sure I can tack on a night class or two for pillow counseling, blanket group therapy, and teddy bear one-on-ones. My future is so bright!

 3.) Your Client Hates You

This child does not want your designer clothes. This child hates your conformist unoriginality. This child has no neck and you want to put him in Designer duds with bow ties, you sadist. This child is judging your life choices and has found you wanting. Don't you see you are torturing this small, Charlie Brown shaped child? This child is equally horrified and inconsolable over your small-minded sartorial discounts. This child's potato body will actively seek to destroy any and all Designer fabric placed upon his skin by any means necessary. Look at that face. That is a face that doesn't play. Stop it.

 4.) That's Better

Oh. Whew. Looky there. No designer clothes. A stupid headband, but at least it's a real baby in this counselor ad and not a doll. Maybe becoming a counselor or social worker through an online course has some validity after all, right?
 
 5.) Right?

Now you're just fucking with me.