Office Politics

Original Message:
From: Natalie
To: WORK
Sent: Dec 2, 2008 12:50 PM
Subject: Cherry cola?

Hi gang,

I had a Cherry Coke in the fridge for my lunch and now it is gone. Anyone seen it?

Your caffeine-deprived editor,
Natalie

Translation:
From: Righteous ball of pissed-off fury
To: Corporate quarter-wits
Sent: Dec 2, 2008 12:50 PM
Subject: That does not belong to you

You fucking vultures!

I will buy 6-inch stiletto heels to grind into your worthless eyeballs! Don't steal my damn soda you bloated rejects of pond scum! What the hell? Seriously. What the hell? How fucking old are we? If it's not yours, don't fucking take it! Gah.

Don't talk to me until I've had a fucking shot of espresso or 75 cents is placed in between my slotted fingers since I am obviously your personal vending machine,
Natalie