Adventures With Craigslist

Guess who is house hunting?

Lemme tell you, it's very refreshing to write something other than, "Are the washer/dryer included?" and, "Thanks, but we decided not to rent your 40 minutes out-of-town and overpriced condo with the suspicious brown stains on the bedroom door."

I don't know what other resource to use than Charlotte's Craigslist, America's answer to the classified pages. If you are unfamiliar with the site, it's a beautiful place online that offers rentals and home sales next to the classifieds of hundreds of foot-fetish seekers and lonely souls wandering through Salisbury's Wal-Mart writing missed connections.

So far, the journey into townhome rental has been one of disappointment. The silver lining has been the amusing and somewhat baffling ads. I thought I'd share a few with you, dear readers, in hopes that by providing free entertainment by blogging, the universe will send Mr. B and I a decent, clean home that is rat- and roach-free. Not too much to ask, yeah?

Here are a few gems from the wonderful world of Craigslist:

This ad claims, "Words Can't Describe This Home!"

CAPS LOCK means it's all true! (Also, click to enlarge any of these screenshots.)

Words can't describe this home?
You're right. I have no words for puke-green carpeting. Or the fact that the rent is $605 a month.

The yellow stain on the kitchen floor really ties the house together.

Speaking of indescribable, this is a real ad for an apartment complex in North Carolina, 532 miles (or 857 kilometers) from New Jersey.

Nothing says home like venereal disease.

Seriously.

Apparently, celebrities are a big draw for home rental.
Take this ad:

Pre-owned by no actual celebrities!

Who knew simple Charlotte, N.C. was home to such celebrities as ... um ... wait, is that a blurry Erik Estrada?

If you squint, it makes it clearer!

The real thing! (Photo credit: Exposay.com.)

Well, damn. Alright, Ponch. We'll take it!