Razzle, No Dazzle

Oh, look.

Breaking CGI. Image via Wikipedia.

The 33rd annual Golden Raspberry Award nominations, the Razzies, have been announced. And blah blah blah you know the rest. Lazy, boring filler paragraph about worst performances followed by gleeful hate at anything aimed at women, aka Twilight. Even in a year that brought Tim & Eric's Billion Dollar Movie, Savages, and The Watch to big screens. (All missing from the Razzies.)

Yawn. Wake me up when this derivative, constant misogyny is over. (I'm prepared to sleep for awhile.) Since we're repeating ourselves, it's as I said in 2011's Raz This:

It's almost as if movies aimed at women are treated as oddities without significance and without the same clout as "regular" movies. You know, the real movies. Those real movies that are always good, without a doubt, because they star dudes and shit.

Because if a movie is aimed at women, it's got to be bad. Teenage girls read Twilight. What do they know? Who cares if it is perhaps the singular mainstream franchise that is aimed at/for teenage girls that does not involve Justin Bieber, and therefore, no matter how bad the source material is, the passionate and financial endorsement of this series may be in part due to the fact that there is nothing else available.

If you're given stale bread, while your male counterparts ages 13-29 are given a full-course buffet with varieties of filet mignon, French cheese and rosemary olive oil croissants, you're going to love that stale bread, damn it. That stale bread is yours and yours alone. Sure, sure, you'll try to steal a bite or two, maybe even enjoy a glass of wine from the table labeled Die Hard but you know it wasn't made for you.

Hate chick flicks? Hate Twilight? Hate Sex and the City and Katherine Heigl?

Then demand wine and meat and brie cheeses. Demand something other than stale bread. And if you are one of those who believes that all chick flicks suck, no matter what, consider the source and count yourself lucky. Because you must be one of those who already ate from the buffet table.