Friday Feminism

“Teachers are often unaware of the gender distribution of talk in their classrooms. They usually consider that they give equal amounts of attention to girls and boys, and it is only when they make a tape recording that they realize that boys are dominating the interactions.

Dale Spender, an Australian feminist who has been a strong advocate of female rights in this area, noted that teachers who tried to restore the balance by deliberately ‘favouring’ the girls were astounded to find that despite their efforts they continued to devote more time to the boys in their classrooms. Another study reported that a male science teacher who managed to create an atmosphere in which girls and boys contributed more equally to discussion felt that he was devoting 90 per cent of his attention to the girls. And so did his male pupils. They complained vociferously that the girls were getting too much talking time.

In other public contexts, too, such as seminars and debates, when women and men are deliberately given an equal amount of the highly valued talking time, there is often a perception that they are getting more than their fair share. Dale Spender explains this as follows:

'The talkativeness of women has been gauged in comparison not with men but with silence. Women have not been judged on the grounds of whether they talk more than men, but of whether they talk more than silent women.'

In other words, if women talk at all, this may be perceived as ‘too much’ by men who expect them to provide a silent, decorative background in many social contexts. This may sound outrageous, but think about how you react when precocious children dominate the talk at an adult party. As women begin to make inroads into formerly ‘male’ domains such as business and professional contexts, we should not be surprised to find that their contributions are not always perceived positively or even accurately.”

-- From Language As Prejudice, PBS.org (http://www.pbs.org/speak/speech/prejudice/women)

I have often been told I talk too much. I've been told I am too loud, too boisterous, too much. If I wear heels I am too tall, too show-offy, take up too much room. But this is what I know, as the introverts and the shy and the bullied always know, that if I am quiet, I disappear. Sometimes for the better, to fend off the brutal pokes and bruises of youth. Sometimes for worse, to be overlooked for perks and favors and kindness. As the saying goes, the squeaky wheel gets the oil. Unless that squeaky wheel is underprivileged, or of a skin color, of a gender, of a sexual orientation that those who wield the oil find objectionable. So then we just squeak on and on. Or sometimes we go silent, and never move forward again. And they do not notice when we are gone until they need someone new to kick.

Silence doesn't always protect us. Silence can erase us.

 If young boys are taught in school that on every level their thought process, needs, questions, and ideas matter more than the girls raising their hands next to them, we have failed all of them. We have taught boys not to value half of the human population, to disregard empathy and to put importance on what their male peers think above what is morally and ethically right. And we have taught girls to accept this silently. If children are the roots of our future societies, are the branches of current society, then this is a society that perpetuates a rape culture that allows for women to be subjugated, victimized and blamed at every turn.

And we ALL deserve better. We deserve more than silence.