Presumptuous

Caroline, the friendly receptionist, plopped a manila envelope on my desk today. I was thrilled: Actual snail mail! Whee!

I ripped it open to find a copy of Today's Pentecostal Evangel magazine, with a note attached that read: "Read And Family -- Holy Bible -- Buy." Inside, there were circled passages, telling me to "Read" and an image of the Bible, circled and labeled, stating for me to "Buy this Holy Bible."

Say what? Is Alice supposed to eat the mushrooms? I didn't chase any white rabbit, and these commands were a little confusing. Confusing, presumptuous, and a tad insulting.

"K-chan," I called over the cubicle wall, "did you get one of these?"
I held up the magazine.
"Yeah," she replied. "I think they think we're sinners."

I don't know, maybe we shouldn't jump to conclusions. After all, our company just filed for bankruptcy. Maybe some kind, grammatically challenged individual wants to lift our spirits. Fear of losing the entire fucking newspaper will do that.
But the post mark is Monday, Sept. 29, from Hewlett, NY. Weekly Planet did declare bankruptcy on Monday, but is that enough time for a kind gesture? Or maybe I'm being too kind in my thinking? It's a stretch, I know.

After all, weekly alternative newspapers are not a bastion of Pentecostal Evangelical ideals. And me, feminist liberal that I am, never personally sought to cover anything that wouldn't draw interest from readers who peruse the rag for the latest news that CNN and American Idol won't cover. Lately, like everyone else with a lick of sense, I've been raging against Sarah Palin and John McCain. If I could, I'd cover more of my own interests -- but my interests aren't usually that of the paper -- feminism, literature, poetry, unique film, and oh, by the way, Religion.

I got a shelf full of Bibles at home, thanks. Because I was a Religion (and Philosophy, whoo! Take that future career ambitions!) major in college. (English was my minor, hence the newspaper/writer gig.) Give me a book on comparative religion and I'm set for the night. A discussion on Buddhist and Christian parallels? Yes please. Mediation trends? Sure. Name that Hindu deity? I'm on it like a mouse on Ganesh. Ontological arguments on the existence of God? I'd bet a Pascal wager on that! The variety of theologies in the Protestant churches? I've got a flow-chart for it. The concept of Christian pacifism lost among the war-mongering right-wingers? Child, please. I wrote my senior thesis on it.

Because Religion is one of my main interests in life, so much so that I would spend 4 plus years studying it. Studying ALL of it. My Buddhist textbooks share space with my Atheism books on my shelves. My Philosophy books are crammed next to Confucius and the Puritan writings. All of them there, loved, studied, cherished.

And come Sunday morning, you may find me sipping a Starbucks on my way to the nondenominational liberal warehouse church. Or you may find me trekking it in heels and hose to spend it next to my parents to share their traditional pew. Or you may find me sleeping, talking to God in my dreams. Or laughing over brunch with my best friends and loving every minute of it.

Because where ever I am, and whatever I do, I'm still me. Church or no, my heart knows where it is. And for anyone to assume otherwise, however good their intentions, because of the work I do, or the beliefs I hold, is just presumptuous.

Just remember, Jesus was a feminist too.