In Which I Am Completely Uninteresting and Entirely Useless Company to a 9-Year-Old

Nine-year-old: "Are you a teenager?"

Me: "I'm 29."

Nine-year-old: "That's old."

Me: "Yes. Yes, I am."

Nine-year-old: "Do you have kids?"

Me: "No kids."

Nine-year-old: "Oh. Do you like High School Musical?"

Me: "I've never seen it."

Nine-year-old: "Do you like Justin Bieber?"

Me: "I'm 29."

Nine-year-old: "Oh."

Me: "Yeah."

Nine-year-old: "Can you hip-hop dance?"

Me: "Not like Justin Bieber."

Nine-year-old gives exasperated sigh of pity, and in the way only children can, meanders off without another word.