Raz This

The Razzie Award nominations were announced on Monday, the predecessor of the Oscar announcements Tuesday morning.

Not to take these mock awards as prestigious honours, but isn't it funny how in nearly every category and nearly every movie nominated is a film that falls under that ridiculous label of "chick flick"?

It's almost as if movies aimed at women are treated as oddities without significance and without the same clout as "regular" movies. You know, the real movies. Those real movies that are always good, without a doubt, because they star dudes and shit. Like Grown Ups. And Due Date. And It's Kind of a Funny Story. And Jonah Hex. The real Oscar contenders.

Because if a movie is aimed at women, it's got to be bad. Teenage girls read Twilight. What do they know? Who cares if it is perhaps the singular mainstream franchise that is aimed at/for teenage girls that does not involve Justin Bieber, and therefore, no matter how bad the source material is (see Reasoning With Vampires or Cleolinda for this) the passionate and financial endorsement of this series may be in part due to the fact that there is nothing else available.

If you're given stale bread, while your male counterparts ages 13-29 are given a full-course buffet with varieties of filet mignon, French cheese and rosemary olive oil croissants, you're going to love that stale bread, damn it. That stale bread is yours and yours alone. Sure, sure, you'll try to steal a bite or two, maybe even enjoy a glass of wine from the table labeled Die Hard but you know it wasn't made for you.

Hate chick flicks? Hate Twilight? Hate Sex and the City and Katherine Heigl?

Then demand wine and meat and brie cheeses. Demand something other than stale bread. And if you are one of those who believes that all chick flicks suck, no matter what, consider the source and count yourself lucky. Because you must be one of those who already ate from the buffet table.