I assure you, your party this weekend will not be "killer." Your party this weekend will be exactly like every other high school party in the history of high school parties. Here's what will happen: You'll run out of cheap beer, someone will puke, someone will cry in the bathroom, you'll listen to music that will embarrass you in ten years, that one couple will have a fight, and if you're lucky someone will call the cops so you will have something to brag about on Monday in Geometry class. Slow your roll, Zack Morris*. Why the hell are you in Starbucks at 9 at night on a Tuesday** anyway? Don't you have class in like, 5 hours? You're here because you are not allowed in bars. And when you are old enough to be in bars, you'll be just as annoying to the grown-ups there as you are to me.
Sincerely,
Grown-up Natalie
* For my International readers who may not know the glories of Saved by the Bell, here's a photo of Zack Morris for reference:
Fly.
** Yes, today is Wednesday. I wrote this last night but didn't post. Call me on your Zack Morris cellphone if this is a problem.
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