Something I Have Learned

3:14 P.M.

3:14 P.M. is the exact moment Starbucks turns into The Peach Pit/ The Max/ Central Perk.

It was a confusing time.

Prior to this, it's all grandmothers, stay-at-home moms meeting for chai tea, and solo writers like me quietly typing away on laptops.

Why is my local Starbucks the teen heaven? And, more importantly, why must I (a fairly patient and understanding young woman) turn into the emotional equivalent of a grizzled Clint Eastwood shaking my fists and screaming, "Get off my lawn!"?

Me.

Is it karma because I called out Katy Perry on her stupid teenage dream song? You -- children in your Bulldogs Class of 2013 sweatshirts -- you are not fireworks. You've got the loud part down, but please explode with your teenage hormones elsewhere. Or shoot across the sky-eye-eye and out of earshot. I want no part of your teenage dream and skintight jeans.

In conclusion?

Damn you, Katy Perry!